Parents Should Watch Parenthood

This month I decided to watch the 1989 film Parenthood starring Steve Martin, Rick Moranis, Keanu Reeves, and a whole list of recognizable names and faces. I’m a sucker for any Steve Martin movie, so when this movie started streaming on Netflix and also starred Rick Moranis, another favorite of mine, I knew I was going to have to give it a watch. 

I knew from the beginning that I was going to like this movie. Immediately it reminded me of one of my favorite movies, Father of the Bride, another movie where Steve Martin plays a father. In this movie, he is in a rather different place in fatherhood. His character, Gil, has three kids, all varying ages with the oldest being nine years old. He’s desperate to be a good father and not repeat the sins of his own father.   

His three siblings Helen (Dianne Wiest), Larry (Tom Hulce, and Susan (Harley Jane Kozak) are confronted with their own struggles with parenting throughout the film. All of the siblings parent differently, and their children behave differently because of the varying ways they are raising their children. This serves the purpose of the film well to highlight all the ways people parent along with the highs and lows of parenting. 

Gil is a good father, but he feels like he’s slipping. His son is needing extra attention at school due to an emotional problem. Everyone has been describing his son, Kevin, as “tense”, and his teachers at school think he belongs in a special education program. Through the film, we see Kevin exhibit this tense behavior. A specific moment this occurs is when they’re out for dinner and Kevin loses his retainer. He had wrapped it in a napkin on the table and the retainer got misplaced. This leads to a full breakdown from Kevin in the restaurant. Gil and his wife, Karen (Mary Steenburgen), are forced to look through the trash for the retainer while Kevin is sent home with his grandparents. Gil struggles with thinking there is something wrong with his son. He believes anything wrong with Kevin may mean he’s a bad father, like his own dad. He doesn’t want Kevin to be like him. It becomes increasingly clear that Gil and Kevin share the same tense personality, which causes Gil to panic about his role as a father. 

Helen’s husband has left her to start a new family, leaving their two teenage children in Helen’s care. Helen just wants the best for her kids, but she can tell they’re struggling. Julie (Martha Plimpton) has taken a liking to Tod (Keaunu Reaves), a boy Helen detests. She sees Tod as a distraction, a silly boy keeping her daughter from achieving a higher education and greatness. Julie only has her sights set on Tod; she wants to be his wife and the mother of his children, despite their arguments and obvious shortcomings. Helen’s son, Garry (Joaquin Phoenix), is going through a hard time without a male influence in his life. He’s taken to hiding out in his room, only leaving when absolutely necessary. Helen doesn’t know how to communicate with him and she feels like she’s failing both of her children in different ways. While her kids are growing and going through changes, she feels lonely and longs to be in love again. She has a terrible and memorable track-record with men, but she isn’t ready to give up trying. 

Susan and her husband, Nathan (Rick Moranis), have a great life and a perfect child. Nathan is obsessed with training their child’s young mind and filling her with as much information as possible while her mind is malleable. This was something Susan agreed to, but she is slowly becoming burnt out with her husband’s obsession. While he would prefer to keep things the way they are, Susan longs for a change. She worries her child is incapable of having childish fun or recognizing when other children are having it. She also would like to have another baby, even though it doesn’t align with the predetermined plan for their child. Susan feels like her husband isn’t hearing her when she tells him she wants these things, and it begins to make their relationship sour. 

Larry is actually the worst, and he gets it from his dad. He finds himself to be a father OF a young child after the child is dropped at his doorstep by an old flame. Larry doesn’t actually put any effort into parenting. His child, Cool, is left in his parent’s care while he chases down another get-rich-quick-scheme. It is through Larry’s relationship with Cool and Frank Buckman’s (Jason Robards) relationship with his son, Larry, that Frank begins to see where he erred as a father to his own children. He doesn’t want Larry to turn into the kind of father he was, so he offers his constant support to Larry. 

The characters grow and discover more about themselves as individuals and parents and the movie plays out. The movie itself feels like a love letter to all parents who feel like they’re struggling. It also highlights the different kinds of parents that exist and validates single parenting, small families, and big families. The film forgives the parent who is doing their best and may fall short, it shows its viewer that the best way to parent is to love your children, no matter the age. 

The movie took some twists and turns. It was emotional, it was funny, and it was an easy movie to watch. There were very few moments in the film where I felt lost or confused. The message of the movie was clear and concise. I enjoyed seeing the lives of the characters and how they interacted in their own families as well as how they interact together as one big family. Steve Martin and Rick Moranis as brother-in-laws was quite humorous, especially considering their differences in parenting styles. 

The movie ends with a new member being added to the family (and I bet you can’t guess whose baby it is, because it’s not what you would expect). The joy of the whole family coming together to celebrate a new life is something exciting to see. While the movie does leave some loose ends, there is a lot to love about this movie and it’s worth a watch. 

I would show this movie to my husband. I think he would enjoy the story and the humor embedded in deep conversations. I highly suggest this movie to anyone who has kids or enjoys heartwarming films. It’s a fun movie to watch.