Galentine’s Day and the Importance of Female Friendship

In elementary school, I remember buying Valentine’s in a little cardboard box at the grocery store. I’d go through the little cards that said cute things and had characters from my latest obsession on them. My crush had to have one that said something cute, but not overly flirty. My friends had to have the cards with their favorite characters on them. A lot of thought went into the candy and the stickers. 

My entire childhood, my dad always bought Taylor and I Valentine’s. He’d get us candy and a stuffed animal. As we got older, he started buying us flowers and cards to accompany our favorite sweet treat. There were some years after I moved out on my own where Valentine’s Day didn’t go the way I had planned. There was one particular Valentine’s Day in college where I was desperate for the boy I was seeing to plan something for the holiday, but he chose to spend the holiday alone, doing homework. Instead, Taylor and I put on our favorite dresses and went out to dinner at Olive Garden. She dropped me off at his apartment on the way home.

Valentine’s Day has always been a good holiday for me, even the years where it wasn’t too good. But the holiday has always come with its own bad reputation. I remember hearing when I was younger how Valentine’s Day was just a “hallmark holiday” and “only for couples”. For a long time in popular culture, if someone, especially a woman, didn’t have a date for Valentine’s Day, it was seen as an inadequacy. Young, single women hating Valentine’s Day is a tale as old as time, but not anymore.  

Valentine’s Day changed forever in February of 2010 with the release of a special episode from the sitcom “Parks and Recreation”. The main character, Leslie Knope, played by Amy Poehler, planned a brunch for her lady friends on the 13th of February and called the day “Galentine’s Day”. Leslie described the day in the interview style show saying, “Oh it's only the best day of the year. Every February 13th, my lady friends and I leave our husbands and our boyfriends at home, and we just come and kick it, breakfast-style. Ladies celebrating ladies”. Since the Galentine’s episode aired, young women have been celebrating with their own Galentine’s Day celebrations. For many, the holiday has turned into less about celebrating romantic love and just celebrating love in general, especially among young women who take the holiday as a chance to embrace their femininity and show love to the women in their lives. 

This year throughout the end of January and beginning of February, I saw several TikToks of young women making Galentine’s Day plans. Some were planning garden teas or brunches. One TikTok I saw showed young women drinking wine and dancing to break up songs while the host’s cheating boyfriend moved out of their apartment. There were almost as many people discussing Galentine’s Day online as there were people talking about Valentine’s Day. All over the country people were celebrating love in all forms. 

Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to celebrate Galentine’s Day this year. I believe I’ve written before about how far away all my female friends live from where Jacob and I have settled. It’s my fault; I should have and could have planned something with at least one of my girls. I said at the beginning of the year that I would like to spend more time with my female friends and really lean into those relationships. I guess I’m not off to a great start, but there will be other times to celebrate these friendships and the love I have for the women in my life. 

I don’t think the spirit of Galentine’s Day ends in February, just like the romance between two people doesn’t dissipate because Valentine’s Day is over. The women in our lives are so important and the older I get, the more I understand this importance.  

I’ve been lucky to have grown closer to some wonderful women in recent years. The older women in my life talk to me about motherhood and what it was like raising their children. Through their stories, I learn more about myself and the feelings I have about getting older. I feel less afraid of the future knowing these women support me and want me to succeed. My female friends who are closer to my age teach me how to be a good friend and how to have fun. It’s easy for me to get caught up in what I’m doing and my friends constantly remind me to take breaks, to give myself a break. During my weekly calls with Julianna, she gives me advice and listens when I tell her the finer details of my life. Taylor sends me pictures of cute animals when I’m sad and reminds me constantly that doing better and being better are a choice; we hold each other accountable on the good days and assure each other on the hard days. Padyne gets me out of my shell to do fun things I would never have thought to do before. She has so much empathy and love for the people close to her and I’m lucky we’ve become close friends. Katelyn makes me laugh and has been my partner in chaos since we were itty bitty. She’s my band mate, my cousin, and my Christmas pajama twin.

I love the women in my life. I’m so happy this month, and one of my favorite holidays, has found a beautiful place in the hearts of young women. For me, Valentine’s Day has always been a day for showing love to the people in your life, no matter the relationship. I appreciate the character of Leslie Knope for changing the way young women think about this time of year, and for women like Amy Poehler for keeping Galentine’s Day alive. I hope the tradition lives on and Valentine’s Day will no longer hold such a negative space in people’s minds. 

Happy Galentine’s Day to the women in my life. I may have failed to make plans this year, but I love and miss every single one of you. Thank you for the wisdom, company, and love you all bring into my life. 

Don’t be afraid to reach out to the people in your life that you love this month. Valentine’s Day and Galentine’s Day may be over at this point, but there’s still time to spread some love; never be afraid to reach out to the people you care most for. 

Last month I said I was going to try to write things I am thankful for at the end of my blogs. This month I’m thankful for my female friends: Taylor, Julianna, Padyne, and Katelyn. I’m also thankful for Jacob because he did buy me very pretty flowers for Valentine’s Day and he spoils me (I promise I won’t be thankful for him every month, but just know, I’m thankful for him every month even if I don’t mention him). I’m also thankful to everyone who sits down and reads the things I have to write; I appreciate all the support.