A Life Update During Quarantine

I haven't written in a while. To be honest, there's been a lot going on. I could sit down any time I want and write something, but most times I don't. It's something I've been working on, but every time I tell myself I'm going to wake up and start writing, I never seem to quite get there. However, I have written a lot of my book, so maybe I've just been neglecting writing about my life right now as it's happening. It's a lot easier to write about trauma when you're looking back at it and not when you're living in it. I guess I wouldn't necessarily call the past 4 months traumatic, but they have been difficult to say the very least.

A quick life update for the people who missed it:

I graduated college in December with my Bachelor's Degree in English and Creative Writing and no clue what I was going to do next. The only thing I had planned was to move to Wichita, Kansas where I would live with my boyfriend, Jacob, and his two male roommates, Spencer and Ryan. Finding a job was a grueling process. I got rejection after rejection. I was starting to feel like I didn't quite fit in here, even though Kansas used to be my home. I'd be lying if I said I don't still feel like I don't belong here. I don't know if it's the city and it's lack of side walks for the evening walks or if it's because our neighbor's give us dirty looks when we walk our dog, but I just don't really feel like I'm a part of something here like I did when I was in Iowa City.

I finally decided to go back to something familiar for me. Buffalo Wild Wings was always a second home for me when I lived in Iowa City. All my friends worked there and it was a place I felt like people cared about me. I knew it wasn't going to be the same when I started working at the Buffalo Wild Wings in Wichita, but at least I knew the job, I knew the uniform, I knew the kind of people who came to a Buffalo Wild Wings, and I knew how to handle the chaos. I started the job, retrained, starting waiting tables, and getting back into the groove of balancing work and writing.

That was two weeks before quarantine started. I was back to sitting at home alone all day while all my roommates still worked. Jacob assured me I wasn't alone because Onyx (our dog) was also at home, but the difference between talking to a dog and a person is quite monumental.

I started out my quarantine worrying a lot about money, as I bet everyone did. I tried to apply for unemployment, but found out that I do not qualify because I had quit from my Buffalo Wild Wings in Iowa City and I hadn't worked at Buffalo Wild Wings in Wichita, nor did I live in the state of Kansas, long enough to collect any kind of unemployment. I didn't want to get a different job, because I had just gone back to a job I knew I wanted to keep and I tried not to feel too bad about it, because 30% of the United States was unemployed and staying at home. I was going to just have to wait it out like everyone else and wait for the quarantine to end.

Stimulus checks came out in early April. I didn't receive one myself, because I was claimed on my dad's taxes. He was kind enough to give me some money from his check after I told him I was banking on the check to pay my bills (he's a good dad). Jacob later found out he wasn't getting a stimulus check either, even though he wasn't claimed, simply because he could have been claimed. He was upset, but since he was still working, it didn't effect him as much.

As I sat at home during the day, I tried to set some goals for myself. I wanted to read more and write more. I didn't want to watch as much TV nor did I want to spend all day playing the Sims. Still, I didn't beat myself up if I did. It was a long quarantine and beating myself up over a day I did nothing was not something I wanted to do. Quarantine and not working has been especially hard on my mental health. Most days I try to do my best to keep myself happy. Petting Onyx really helps in that case. There are some days I just need to call my dad or Julianna and I feel much better. There are some days when I just lay on the couch and wallow in the saddness, which I do not recommend to anyone. Jacob is really good at being there right when I need him. He always offers to advice like "Do you want to call Julianna?" "How about you make some Mac and Cheese?" "Have you kissed the dog today? Go kiss the dog,".

Meet our puppy, Onyx!

I didn't want to write this blog about how my quarantine has been though. I know everyone has been locked inside their homes for almost two months and their sick and tired of hearing about the quarantine, lockdown, and Covid-19. I wanted to share what my life has been like since moving to Kansas. So, here we go:

It has been different and definitely challenging at times. I've lived with boys before and I'm glad to be living with the guys I live with now. Spencer is loud and hilarious; we spend almost every day together and he's one of my best friends. Ryan is quiet and smart; he doesn't hang out with us as much, but when he does he completes a group dynamic that is familar and fun. My relationship with Jacob has become more comfortable, but beautiful in every single way. Ever since we adopted Onyx back in February, I feel like we have become a family and Onyx completes our household. He is the goofiest dog! He's so smart and has a big personality. He loves everyone he meets, gives hugs, loves treats, and spends the majority of the day napping by the window by our door.

My days are spent trying to write (or playing the Sims, because it is the best game, in my opinion). When Jacob and Spencer get home from work we light up the grill and make chicken wings (most days) and burgers (some days). All I really want is to eat pasta, but when you live with boys and have a grill, that's not allowed (apparently). Some days we go fishing, which I don't enjoy as much as I really enjoy spending time with my friends. We talk, we laugh, we play in the water, then we go home and check ourselves for ticks. We take Onyx for long walks on the railroad tracks. Every time we ask him if he wants to go for a walk, Onyx excitedly barks at us until we put his leash on and take him outside. He loves being outside in the sunlight where he can see our neighbors walking by.

The past 4 months have been hard, I can't lie about that. I do believe, however, that they have been beautiful. It's hard to get used to being so far away from my family and the friends I've had for years. I'm still working on making friends here in Wichita, but I know I'll make some soon. I appreciate the friends I do have for now, both the ones who have come and seen me and the ones who message me and check-in on how I'm doing. I appreicate it all. I've already had a lot of really great adventures and I know there are more to come.

Fishing with Spencer and Jacob

As the state of Kansas is reopening, I look forward to going back to work. I'm still very wary about everything opening back up myself, knowing the numbers for Coronavirus might just keep going up and up. I'm still so excited to be going back to work, going back to trying to make friends, and establishing myself in a place where I haven't really gotten the opportunity to introduce myself to.

I'm ready for whatever adventures the next year here in Wichita will hold. I'm ready for more long walks with my dog, Jacob, and Spencer. I'm ready to get fresh and go to the Applebees.